Two women suicide bombers kill 30 in Nigeria. Govt assures you it has nothing at all to do with Islam.
The bomber were two females--dressed in full hijabs. The first set off her explosives and killed about three women. About ten minutes later, after a crowd had gathered to help the injured, the second bomber screamed and detonated a second bomb, killing about 30.
The Islamic group Boko Haram is suspected of carrying out the bombings. So far this year attacks by that group have killed 1,500 people in Nigeria, according to Amnesty International.
But don't worry, citizen. Your government assures you that Islam is "the religion of peace." Just as Team Obama assured you that the attack that killed four Americans in Benghazi just before the 2012 presidential election was not a terrorist attack by an al-Qaeda affiliate but merely a "spontaneous demonstration" triggered by a video posted on the internet that depicted Islam in an unflattering way.
You DO believe Team Obama, right? Because they would never lie to you, such as by solemnly promising that under the so-called Affordable Care Act (a.k.a. Obamacare) if you liked your doctor or your then-existing health insurance you could keep both. That would be wrong--like telling you the ACA "would the average family $2,500 per year." They simply would not do something like that.
And if you thought you heard something like that, you're wrong. Got it? Even now websites--both government and media--are being carefully scrutinized for any indication that such things were said, and we haven't found a single frame that suggests any such statements were ever made. By anyone.
On the other hand we've found a couple of sites run by right-wing-extremist-TEA PARTY-types that *claim* Democrats said such things, so we're pretty sure this is all a plot by TEA PARTY extremists to impugn the president's integrity. Because they're all raaacists, you know.
Some sites even claim the President (pbuh) surrendered his license to practice law because he make false statements to a state bar association. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous in your life? How could he make laws without a law license? Stupid Tea Partiers!
Now if you'll excuse us, we have an empire to run. Kindly step aside.