Tuesday, January 10

Headlines

Latest politically-correct headlines, courtesy of The Peoples' Cube:

Congressional Democrats: "We cannot just simply replace Obamacare with freedom because then millions of Americans will suddenly become free"

"Schoolchildren jailed for building only white snowmen"

Hillary: "We lost, so I'm going to follow our democratic traditions--poison the wells and scorch the earth"

Children in Venezuela cook and eat their Christmas toys

Hillary suggests "fake news" could be countered by a government newspaper called "Truth" ("Pravda" for Russian speakers)

BREAKING: Millions of uncounted votes found on Hillary's private voting machine in her Chappaqua bathroom

Citing fears of "dangerous" Trump presidency, protesters pre-emptively burn America to the ground

Clinton Foundation declares bankruptcy after 1,250 foreign donors demand refunds

Hillary Clinton blames her unexpected loss on a "spontaneous voter uprising" caused by a video posted on the internet

Sudden rise in sea levels due to deluge of tears shed by climate scientists following Trump's win

After Trump's win Obama preemptively pardons himself for treason

The Evolution of Dissent: on January 20th the media will decide whether dissent will no longer be racist and will once again be considered patriotic, as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

White House edits Orlando 911 transcript to say shooter pledged allegiance to NRA and Republican party

Trump proposes 'Muslim database'; Obama protests by shredding 8 years of White House visitor logs

University "cultural appropriation" researchers quit after they discover that "research" was appropriated from a culture that created universities

State officials improve chances of health-insurance actually paying by replacing ObamaCare with state lottery

"Progressive enforcement squads at U.S. universities issue humor flow-charts so students can determine if it's okay to laugh at a joke or if speech codes require expulsion of the speaker

Obama proposes 3-day waiting period for all terrorist nations trying to acquire nuclear weapons

Cuba opens to affordable medical tourism for Americans who can't afford Obamacare deductibles

   and finally...

President Obama says he just now learned from CNN that Hillary Clinton was actually his Secretary of State for four years

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home