June 21, 2017

Policeman stabbed at Michigan airport; CNN assures you it's definitely NOT terrorism

Today at the airport in Flint, Michigan, a man stabbed a police officer in the back and neck.

Numerous witnesses said the attacker was shouting something they described as sounding like "Allhu ackhbar."  However, sources at the FBI tell CNN that there is no official recording of what the man may have shouted; that eyewitnesses are notoriously unreliable; and that in any case it's not possible to draw any conclusions from something someone may or may not have said, especially if he or she was speaking a language that insular idiots in flyover country wouldn't understand.

So CNN can assure listeners that whatever happened--or didn't happen--at this airport, it has absolutely nothing to do with Islam, and anyone who claims otherwise is guilty of hate speech and will be fined and imprisoned by Democrat holdovers from the highly ethical, honest administration of our dear previous president.

In other news, Democrat Jon Ossoff has a two point lead in the special election in Georgia for an open House seat.  CNN projects Ossoff will win that race.

In other new, CNN projects Trump will be impeached following a massive outpouring of support for Democrat policies, and collusion with Russia.


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